We live at Vichy brides a time when we can instantly communicate with distant friends and family members using a few mouse clicks or taps on a touchscreen. Despite advances in communications technology and the increasing connectedness it brings, research indicates that, as a society, we are lonelier than we have ever been.
A 2020 report published by Cigna shows that more than half (61 percent) of U.S. adults report feeling alone sometimes or always. This number paints an exceptionally bleak picture since it is based on data collected in mid-2019-before the COVID-19 pandemic and widespread public health measures that resulted in extraordinary levels of social isolation. Although, people from all walks of life can feel isolated and alone, perhaps no other age group feels the keen sting of loneliness more than the elderly.
Understanding Loneliness in Seniors
Aging brings many changes that can contribute to a more solitary life. One of the biggest issues for seniors is that their social circles begin to shrink as the years go by. On one hand, retiring grants older adults more free time for hobbies and relaxation, but it also puts an end to meaningful interactions with colleagues on a regular basis. Additionally, friends, significant others and family members may move away or pass away.
Carol Bradley Bursack, caregiving expert and author of Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories, saw firsthand how deeply her grandparents and parents grieved these personal losses.
“I had to wonder how much fun it is to be the last one standing,” she recalls. “My mom, who once loved getting Christmas cards, found that the number of cards she received dwindled each year, and the ones she did get often contained sad news of death or disease.”
Even those who still live close by may be difficult to meet with in person due to changes in mobility. This is especially true once a senior stops driving for safety reasons. Age-related conditions, such as hearing loss and eye diseases, can also make it so difficult to communicate that it doesn’t seem worth the effort anymore.
Embarrassment can be a factor as well. Many older adults living with chronic medical conditions not only face logistical challenges when it comes to leaving the house, but they may also feel insecure about these “obvious” signs of aging. Incontinence is a common concern that can complicate an elder’s social life, while the use of durable medical equipment like mobility aids and oxygen therapy systems can affect their self-confidence.
It is trying enough for a senior to maintain healthy relationships despite these challenges. When one’s entire peer group is experiencing any combination of these factors, it can be difficult (if not impossible) to get together or keep in touch with friends on a regular basis. Sadly, many seniors experience a decline in the quantity and quality of their relationships as they age, whether it is self-imposed or due to forces outside of their control.
Families Struggle to Support “Forgotten Elderly”
Even when an older adult is being taken care of by family caregivers, T. Byram Karasu, M.D., distinguished professor emeritus at the Albert Einstein College of Medicine’s department of psychiatry and behavioral sciences, says that there is often little attention paid to deep, engaging communication between a senior and the rest of their family. The changes listed above certainly play a role, but caregivers are usually so worn out from juggling their day-to-day responsibilities that they have little time or energy left for singlehandedly meeting all a senior’s emotional and social needs.
Bobbie Smith, a professional caregiver for Home Instead Senior Care with more than six decades of elder care experience under her belt, echoes this sentiment but believes the structure of families is also an underlying issue. She says that a modern trend is the breakdown of extended family relationships like those between grandparents and grandchildren. This has caused many elderly people to feel as though they have been “pushed to the side” and forgotten about. Family units that have spread across the country find it particularly difficult to make time for visits and even regular communication by phone and mail.
